If you don’t have young kids, it has probably been awhile since Mother Goose crossed your radar. I assumed that Mother Goose was to old-school for my Hello Kitty-loving toddler, but as he constantly reaffirms, what the heck do I know?
Yago loves listening to Mother Goose rhymes and songs. He says “Otro, otro, otro (another)” until I can’t remember anymore. Luckily someone gave me a book to refresh my memory.
And now I remember; Mother Goose is awful! All the characters are constantly falling down and cracking their skulls open. A bunch of unfortunate, uncoordinated klutzes.
- Jack of Jack and Jill: broke his crown
- Humpty Dumpty: ditto
- The Maid in Sing a Song of Sixpence: had her nose snipped off by a black bird.
- Lady Bird, Lady Bird: possible arson victim.
- Georgie Porgie: comes off like a pedophile, but jury still out.
- Little Miss Muffet: heavy therapy bills for arachnophobia
But the two that really disturb me are:
Old Mother Hubbard
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard… yada yada you remember the first part. Then…
She went to the baker’s to buy him some bread when she came back the dog was dead. She went to the undertaker’s to buy him a coffin, when she came back the dog was laughing.
Sounds like Freddy of Nightmare on Elm Street. Luckily, with no opposing thumbs he can’t handle a chainsaw.
There Was An old Woman
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, she had so many children she didn’t know what to do. She gave them some broth without any bread, she whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.
And then the children were put in foster homes and her welfare check was reduced accordingly.
So, I am glad Rogelio is teaching Yago some Spanish songs that aren’t so depressing. Just nice little ditties about facial hair and the perils of industrial poultry farming.
Here are Yago and Rogelio doing a duet of “La Gallina Turuleta” and “Mi Barba Tiene Tres Pelos”. I’ll provide the lyrics and a translation in case you want to add them to your own repotoire.
La Gallina Turuleta
La Gallina Turuleta, ha puesto un huevo, ha puesto dos, ha puesto tres.
La Gallina Tueroleta, ha puesto cuatro, ha puesto cinco, ha puesto seis.
La Gallina Turuleta, ha puesto siete, ha puesto ocho, ha puesto nueve.
Deja ya a la gallinita, dejala la pobrecita, dejala que ponga diez.
Turuleta the hen has laid one egg, has laid two eggs, has laid three eggs. Turuleta the hen has laid four eggs, has laid five eggs, has laid six eggs. Turuleta the hen has laid seven eggs, has laid eight eggs, has laid nine eggs. Leave the hen alone already, leave the poor thing in peace so she can lay ten eggs.
And my personal favorite:
Mi barba tiene tres pelos. Tres pelos tiene mi barba. Si no tuviera tres pelos, ya no sería mi barba.
My beard has three hairs. Three hairs has my beard. If it didn’t have three hairs, it wouldn’t be my beard.
See, just a nice, little ditty about some unfortunate facial hair. No sharp razors, no plucking, no hot wax extraction. Just politically correct acceptance of a scant adolescent beard.