Ikea Funiture for Smarty Pants

“OK, Yago.  We have some man-work to do here.  Let’s slap together this chest of drawers from Ikea.  How hard can it be?”

“Papi, before you get out the power tools, it really would be prudent to read the directions.”

“Ya, whatever.  I am not taking advice on “prudent” from someone who has eaten nothing but beets in the last 24 hours.  Look at your face!”

“Did you say beets?  Yum!”

“Ya, beets.  And you are cut off.  24 hours of beet gluttony and I’ve been changing purple diapers all morning.  Why does this always happen on the weekend?  I think you and your Mom plan these things.”

“Ha, ha, ha.  OK, I fess up, the exploding purple poo was pretty nasty.  But if you can deal with that, you can outfox the Malm Dresser for 59.99 at Ikea.”

“Let’s put our heads together.  How hard can this be?”

“Papi, this doesn’t even have words.  It is just a picture book.  Hey!  This dresser is for babies!”

“And Yago, look here.  It clearly states,  NO CLIMBING.  Got that?”

“Hmmm, I don’t like this page.  Let’s move on.”

“Papi, if you let Mom take a close up of your fingers, everyone will know that you wear gloves inside the house.”

“Ya, and thanks to your Mom, they also know that we don’t wash your face, you just rub it off on the furniture.”

“Hell kid, I can’t make heads or tails out of this damn thing.  Let’s just grab some of these pieces and bang them together.”

“Patience please, Papi.  It just requires a bit of concentration and common sense.  No need to get all “Canadian red-neck” on the furniture.  A little European finesse will do the trick.”

“These go in here,”

“And then you bang on the sucker!”



  1. First thing I thought….what is with the gloves Rogelio? You have to get the man a toque and a Cowichan Sweater next trip to Canada. LOL
    Did they ever get the IKEA dresser together, those things suck to put together.

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