OK, this has nothing to do with Spain, or Canada, or my life, of the meaning of life, but holy meatdress Mary. This is IMPORTANT. As a blogger it is my moral responsibility to share crucial information with the universe. I was obligated by my journalist duty to say,
Get a load of THIS.
At first glance I thought, how the hell did Lady Gaga score a seat right behind the Royal Family?
Then I thought, wow, the poor bugger craning his neck behind her.
But that isn’t Lady Gaga, it is Princess Beatrice of York and her bat shit crazy
headgear, sculpture, antenna, hat.
Besides the obvious WHY?, my questions on this subject are more technical. How the hell did she strap that to her forehead? What is it made of? What type of neck training program does she follow to balance that monstrosity up there during all the choir tunes?
Today, poor Lady Gaga is smacking her head against the wall. “I have been upstaged by the daughter of a Weight Watchers representative.”
I should have been aware of Beatrice’s potential to impress. A quick trip to google revealed this
installation piece, insect orgy, hat from her cousin, Pete Phillips’, wedding.
Plus, it’s obviously in her genes.
Some of the royals received unfortunate ears, others inherited a fancy for insects on their heads.
Oh I hope this leads to an official Bat Shit Crazy Hat Showdown. A new reality series hosted by Simon Cowell. Lady Gaga versus Beatrice. My money is ALWAYS on the redhead.
Actually, I would love to have a beer and go bowling with Beatrice. Maybe she’d take me home after to meet Sarah and Eugenie ,and we could have a slumber party, drink fuzzy navels, and paint our toenails wild colors. They’d surely have diet popcorn. Sarah would regal us with raunchy tales of what Andrew was like in the sack and Eugenie would remember that time Henry lit his farts on fire behind the polo stable.
Yes, they look like a bang-up good time. And I need some of her chutzpah. My status in the neighbourhood would soar if I added some hand-me-down Beatrice hats to my maternity sweatpants wardrobe. The only wedding I’ve attended with hats also featured a bride with Double F tits and a diamond encrusted in her front tooth.
Anyhoo, back to our regular programming…